Far from what I once was, but not yet what I'm going to be

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Captivate Me

I love the word captivate.

I never really cared one way or the other until one day during my sophomore year, my speech teacher complimented me after one of my speeches. He said, "Cara, your smile is captivating." To this day, that is my most favorite compliment I have ever received. I'll never forget it. In a moment of dread (public speaking) trying to hide behind the podeum, palms sweaty, just trying to get through my speech alive so I could head back to my seat - he said something so simple. Something he would soon forget saying. But something I will remember forever.

The one thing I always made sure to do in my speeches was smile. And he saw that. And even though I had braces (which were not attractive on me), he said, "Cara, your smile is captivating." It made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. So much more comfortable and relaxed. It made me feel like I was gonna be okay. No matter how awkward I felt up there in front of my peers, doing a how-to speech about making brownies.


It's a song, you know. By Starfield. A beautiful, wonderful song. A song that is my prayer. Here are my favorite parts:

Strength is found in weakness. Peace in incompleteness.
You look for a heart that's open. For beauty in the broken.
My soul's screaming out to be found in You.
I'm so messy and distracted. Undisciplined and tactless. Here on the inside.

It so perfectly describes what I've been learning lately. The Lord can do ANYTHING in and through ANYONE. In my weakness, He makes me strong. When I'm feeling incomplete, he gives me a perfect peace beyond words. He has softened my heart and opened my heart. Open to HIS will, not mine. He has shown me such beauty in utter brokenness. He has drawn me in so dearly and near to Him. So much so, that my soul screams to be found in Him.

Captivate me, Lord. Captivate ALL of me.

He's made me realize what a mess I am on my own. How easily distracted. Undisciplined. Tactless. He's changing me from the inside out. Breaking my heart for what breaks His. Creating in me a burning desire for social justice. And a love for children and broken people that could only come from above.

Captivate our hearts, Lord. Captivate our minds. Captivate our souls. Captivate us all.


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