Mzungu || Happy Birthday Mark

**Note: this post was written on June 22, 2014 but never published. Today seemed better. Happy birthday, Mark.

Who would have thought that the person who changed my life the most on this journey -- the one who left the most significant impression -- would be a white guy from South Carolina?

Let me tell you about Mark. (Mark if you're reading this, please don't kill me).

Mark changed my life without even knowing it. He softened my heart and changed me. And I never even told him that. What a shame.

Mark met The Lord 3 years ago and was transformed by His love, mercy and grace. I see Christ in Mark every day.

I see Christ in Mark's interactions with the mothers at the hospital - the way he is so gentle and kind to them, knowing they are afraid. I see Christ in Mark when he loves on the kids and makes them smile through their pain and adversity. I see Christ in Mark when he buys the street children chapati because they are too poor to eat tonight.

Mark changed my life and changed my heart with just a couple conversations and he never even knew it.

He used to work in the music industry. He worked with some pretty big names and he helped create a huge company that we've probably all heard of. He knew success. But he met The Lord and he knows that stuff isn't what matters -- and that's what I love about Mark. He said to me, "I make significantly less money each year working for CURE than I did before. But I would make the decision to leave that life and come here all over again because it's worth it. It's worth it every single day."

Now, Mark is the CUREkids Coordinator. He is a photographer and he writes stories for the CURE blog. He interviews the moms of the patients and asks them how they got to CURE, and all about the child and their journey. It's a pretty awesome job.

Mark gets it. He understands it's not about money. It's not about fame and fortune. It's about loving God's people -- and loving them well; which he does.

And if you could see Mark interact with the kids and the moms, you would understand. This man loves. He loves well. This man spreads joy like I've never seen. The children love him. The moms open up to him. Mark is so special. His life is a gift to all who know him.

In another conversation, Mark said to me, "I don't miss places and I don't miss things; I miss people." Again, Mark gets it. Things don't matter. In this life, material  things will rust and get destroyed, but people matter. Every life matters. We are called to love. Relationships matter. And Mark understands that.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
(Matthew 6:19-21 ESV)

During my time in Uganda, I laughed a lot with Mark. He's such a joy to be around and I know he has found favor in the eyes of The Lord.

But another thing about Mark is that he has seen pain. He has experienced loss and heartbreak -- and he has remained faithful to The Lord in those times and been an incredible encouragement to me.

There are times when I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my heart and my head -- I want to write them all down but sometimes I just can't find the words. Mark was such an encouragement to me on this journey because I came across his blog. Through his blog, I was able to see into his heart; I saw deeper into his heart than I ever did speaking with him. In his blog, Mark wrote the words I struggled to write myself. He felt the same way I felt; and he so eloquently wrote it down. I found such comfort in his words and in his writing. I hope you will to.

Here is an excerpt from just one of my favorite posts on his blog: (click link below to read the whole post)

No one said this would be easy

 "When everything else falls apart, the gospel remains.  When you can't make sense of your life, the gospel still holds true.  When you feel abandoned, confused, worthless, stagnant, trapped, hopeless.  The gospel doesn't lose strength or power.  It isn't affected.  In fact, it's amplified.  Its light is brighter.

If there's one lesson that I'm constantly learning and being reminded -- it's that every life is worth it. Every life is a contribution. In a country with tremendous distance between social classes, feelings of inferiority radiate from guardians, villagers and beggars. We are not to disregard the lame or meek, yet we do. I see it everyday. I feel guilty. I feel sadness. I know that I want to love people, all people. Everyone is worth it. Not having money or a job or an education doesn't discount the worth of a person in Gods eyes. I want to see them through gospel lens. I want to see them as a child of God, worthy of time, encouragement, and sacrifice. It's where I feel most vulnerable and uncomfortable. When I don't know how to help or what to say. But it's also there that I feel God. I feel His presence. When I get someone to smile that has been cursed at, overlooked and ignored all day. When I treat people like people. With respect and dignity. We're all fallen. We all need grace. We are in the same boat. We could at least try to connect."

- Mark Barrett

These are the things I love about Mark. He's broken, he's flawed, he's imperfect; but he's learning and he's loving through it. He's selfless and he's generous. He's caring and he's giving and he has a heart of gold. He's adventurous and honest.

Mark,

I am so thankful for you. I am thankful for your humor. I am thankful for your joy. I am thankful for your adventurous spirit. I am thankful for your generosity. I am thankful for the lessons you taught me. And I am thankful for your wisdom.

I pray The Lord gives you clarity for your future. Know His plans for you are great. Know His plans for you are perfect and filled with life, love and adventure. I pray for your heart -- that you will be guided by our Father and hear His voice clearly. I pray you continue to heal the sick and proclaim the kingdom of God.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)

XO

PS.  If I saw you in heaven, I WOULD know your name 

Next Big Adventure

Dear Friends & Family,

I recently had a mentor ask me, “When do you feel most alive?” I thoughtfully considered my reply and realized that I feel most alive when I answer the Lord’s call to go overseas and serve His people. Last summer, I was incredibly blessed with the opportunity to do just that – I answered the Lord’s call and I traveled overseas to Uganda for 7 weeks to intern at a Pediatric Neurosurgery hospital. Because of that experience, my passion for serving His people overseas was ignited even more; and I am excited to announce that in the summer of 2015 I will be travelling to Scotland to serve His people once again.

            In July 2015, I will be on a team with seven other women partnering with Young Life for 3 weeks in Scotland. We will be putting on Young Life camps for the local youth there.  Young Life recently purchased a campground in Crieff, Scotland and we have been blessed with the opportunity to be a part of the very first summer of Young Life camp.  The vision of Young Life is that every adolescent will have the opportunity to meet Jesus Christ and follow Him.  The mission of Young Life is introducing adolescents to Jesus Christ and helping them grow in their faith.  I can’t wait to be a part of this mission and this vision! Each year I seem to think the Lord is done with me doing mission work overseas – and each year He shows me He is just getting started.

             As you know, there are many moving pieces when it comes to trips such as this, and that is why I am writing you. First and foremost I would like to ask for your prayers. Please join me in praying for the kids that will arrive at this camp, that their hearts will be prepared, even now, to experience the Gospel in a very real way and that their lives will be forever changed. I would also encourage you to pray for the leaders and property staff, that the Lord may give them strength and knowledge to come alongside these campers and walk with them through their journey. Lastly, I would love to ask for prayers of provision for our team as we fundraise over the next several months. My goal is to fundraise $3,200.00. I would like to ask and encourage you to support this trip financially in any way that you can.  Any amount will be appreciated and I hope you will come alongside me in this next adventure. I wholeheartedly believe that The Lord will do big things through this camp and through our trip in reaching kids who long to know Jesus and I am honored to be a part of this advancement in the Kingdom.

            Thank you for taking the time hear about my life and what is coming in the next chapter. I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Love always,Cara Clancy

John 14:18​

Questions.

How was your trip? What did you do while you were there?

Two questions. Two simple, innocent questions. Questions I have been asked countless times. Questions that seem so easy, so harmless; why are their answers so difficult? Why are the words so hard to find?

It's difficult for many reasons. I begin to describe my trip and what I did, then I see the friend I am talking to start to lose interest. Do they really even want to know about my trip? Or do they just ask because they know it's how I spent my summer?

Those two months changed my life. I can't water it down. I can't give you a reader's digest version. It was 2 months FULL of love, FULL of life, FULL of healing, FULL of meaning, FULL of friendship, FULL of Christ. I don't ever want to downplay those 2 months.

But it's hard - it's so hard to put into words my experience.

Ernest Hemingway once said, "write hard and clear about what hurts." I do my best. Here is my greatest effort to capture the adventure of my life in Uganda. Why does it hurt? Because I'm no longer in Uganda. Because I left the people I came to love. Because the Lord broke my heart for what breaks His. Because my eyes were opened to the great need of so many people, while I live in surplus at home.

How was your trip?

Incredible. Amazing. Fantastic. Fabulous. Radical. Awesome. Stellar. Excellent. Spectacular.

What did you do while you were there?

I built friendships.

While in Uganda, I created lasting friendships. I still speak with my friends from Uganda regularly. The people there made a lasting impression on my life. They live in such a way that inspires me. They inspire me because they truly rely on The Lord to show up every day and provide for their every need. They are so  filled with joy. It was impossible to walk around the hospital or a village or into town without seeing several people smile. But these people truly cared about me. They wanted to know about my life and who I am and what I do and how I live. I became sick once I came back and they have covered me in prayer and ask almost daily how I am feeling and what the latest update is. I developed deep friendships with some of the most incredible people on earth -- and it happened in such a short time. I am so thankful for the conversations I had and the relationships I developed. The Lord was at work in each conversation and in each friendship.

Rebecca

Miriam. Spiritual Mother

Stewart.

Mark.

I shared Christ.

I was able to witness people give their lives to Christ. What a joyous occasion to be able to celebrate individuals enter the kingdom and become a part of the family forever! The week-long outreach in Gulu impacted me as much as it impacted the people we were teaching. They taught me just as much about love and faith and service as I could show them through the life of Jesus Christ in God's word. The small group conversations with the women in Gulu were truly incredible - they showed their faith as well as their faithfulness to The Lord. It was inspiring. I was touched and I saw The Lord show up several times as they shared personal stories. Our God is great.

I held babies.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I have always LOVED kids. KIDS. Never been a fan of babies. They cry and pee and poop and puke. Sometimes they're cute, but I've never had the urge to hold one. Until Uganda. Oh boy did I fall in love with hundreds of babies. They captivated my heart. I held babies and loved on them like the Father loves me. It was so heartwarming to see the moms of each child smile so big each time I held their son or daughter. It's not often someone outside the family wants to hold their child; so for an outsider to come and show their child love is a really big deal to them -- especially if their child has hydrocephalus or spina bifida. But how can you not love those precious babes? It's a direct look into the Father's heart. He loves them. I love them. Each child was so filled with joy. Oh how I love them. I wanted to keep them all.

Did I mention I love kids?

I worked in a hospital with the most incredible staff.

The staff at CURE Uganda is absolutely stellar. To have a group of so many incredible individuals in one workplace is like a dream come true. I fell in love with each person I met. They all extended such a warm welcome and they exuded the love of Christ both to me as well as to each patient and their family. They truly are healing the sick and proclaiming the kingdom of God. These spectacular people taught me so much about medicine, life, and Christ. They are so selfless. They work long, hard hours and they truly do love each and every patient that is brought through the doors of CURE Uganda. Each patient received fantastic care because the doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, surgeons, and other hospital staff prayed over them and took careful care of them. It touched my heart and made me want to be a healthcare professional just like that in the future.

I was adventurous.

I was so blessed to be able to live a life of adventure. God created such beauty in His masterpiece called Earth. Uganda doesn't disappoint. Sipi Falls. The Nile. Jinja. Bungee Jumping. Hiking. It was all amazing and it all brought me closer to His heart. I crave a life of adventure. Uganda will forever be in my heart. I hope and pray that one day I may return.

XO

Impact.

Coming home is never easy. It's never fun either.

But they say home is where the heart is. . . Well my heart is in a Guatemalan village 10,000 feet in the mountains. Does that make Guatemala home? Maybe I'm just a nomad. Lost and confused.

I returned from a 10 day trip to Guatemala. This was my second time and it was great. The first trip was life changing - the greatest trip of my life. This trip didn't disappoint. Still changed me. Still great! :)

There is something so special about your first time in a new place. The first time you meet the people there, taste the food, see the sights, get bit by the bugs. . .

HOWEVER, nothing can compare to returning to the same village and seeing the same children and people that I met last year. The second I stepped out of the van, my 9 year old friend, Ruth, RAN up to me and embraced me with all she had. You just can't describe those moments. It's moments like those that made this trip. Reconnecting with old friends. Seeing the smiles on the faces of the people you met a year earlier.  All that was going through my mind was "they remember."

My Ruth is the one in the light green jacket giggling to herself ;)

Oftentimes I come across people who question the impact of short term missions. Trust me, I get it. It used to be hard for me to hear these people out because I have such a heart for missions and have been on 5 trips myself. But I really do understand their concern. But it's the little moments like THAT - Ruth running up and embracing me with the biggest smile I've ever seen. Laughter in the air; music to my ears. They remember! We bring joy and encouragement to these people. We build relationships and love them like Jesus loves them.

We had a sermon in church today on James 1:27. "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."  That's what we're doing in this village. THAT is what short term missions is all about.

If you read my posts from last year's trip or talked to me at all, you may remember that last year we laid the block for the church in the village. We built the first story. Finished all the block work. I was so excited to see how much further they had gotten in a year's time. I was saddened to see there was little to no progress on the church since our last day in the village last year. This also solidifies my belief that we are making an impact. WE are building this church in Guatemala. Literally building the church.

Working hard on the re-bar

This year we did all of the re-bar work for them to lay the ceiling of the first story/floor of the second story and begin to build up. Re-bar work is very tedious and time consuming. It was so awesome to see how excited and overjoyed all of the people in the village were just to have us there. Our presence lit up their faces. Their smiles are so bright and bring tears to my eyes. I've never seen such beautiful smiles.

I know that we made a difference being there. We made a difference in the village physically by building the church building. We made a difference in the church spiritually by helping build the church body and bringing believers to their community. We made a difference personally by continuing relationships that were made and built last year. Not only is this village being impacted, but so am I. I can't help but be impacted by their joy, excitement, and unconditional love for everyone around them. They have nothing but are more than content. They are so generous. I definitely learn from them each time I interact - language barriers don't stop love and joy. Some things are universal.

Their smiles are more beautiful than anything I've seen.
Their laughter is music to my ears.

XOXO

The Love.

I've been putting this off. This last post about Guatemala. I don't want it to end. I know it's silly for me to hold it in and not express my emotions, my feelings, my experiences with THE LOVE. But part of me felt like writing the last post, meant that it was really over.

But it's not.

It's not over. It will never be over in my heart. My life was forever changed by this trip. My view on love was forever changed by this trip. I was forever changed by this trip.

So here we go. To talk about love. A love few have ever experienced. Few will ever experience. And I was blessed enough to see that love in action. And to be right smack dab in the middle of it.

From day one working in the village, high on that mountain, among the clouds, I felt something unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was a warm fuzzy feeling. A feeling that tore down all the walls I built up around myself. Broke through all my insecurities and uncomfortable-ness (I realize this is not a real word. Don't care). Made me forget all of the bad things in the world, and simply see the beauty all around. This feeling was amazing. And happy. And forgiving. Not afraid. Not judgmental. Boundless. Unconditional. Unending.

This was love in its purest form.

I felt loved like never before by people that didn't even know me! And I shared this love for them as well - people I had met 5 minutes prior. I was absolutely in love with them. These children. These adults. These Guatemalan people who wore the brightest, biggest smiles I had ever seen. People who were more generous than anyone I had ever met even though they had much less "stuff" than anyone I know.

These new loves of mine understood life. They understood that LOVE in its purest form is above all else. Love never fails. Love never gives up. Love covers a multitude of sins. LOVE CONQUERS.

This love was contagious. I saw it in the eyes of Ruth. I saw it in the eyes of Raul. In the eyes of Dr. Gomez. Hugo. Marvin. Everyone! This love filled my heart with a joy I could not contain. This love filled my eyes with tears because I had never seen or felt or experienced something so beautiful.

Loves

This love made me forget all of the bad in the world. This love made me focus on the good in everyone and everything. This love was REAL. No words can describe it. Just writing about it fills my heart and my eyes the way it did each day I saw my Guatemalan friends.

It's impossible for me not to smile at this one :)

It hurts my heart knowing they are far away. But are they really? They all left fingerprints on my heart. They each have a special place in my heart forever. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my loves in Guatemala - especially with the earthquake that struck not too long ago. I pray that the Lord protects them as I know He will.

I miss my girls

My Guatemalan friends showed me what love really means. They showed me the true meaning and the true image of love. In its purest form. And even though I know no earthly love can even compare to the Father's love for us, their love was the closest I have ever seen or experienced to God's love.

<3 most loving sibling in the world

Their love was joyful and patient and kind. There love was generous and pure and honest. Their love was gentle and peaceful and good. Their love was selfless and faithful and indescribable. I wish everyone could experience a love like this. It's so special to me and all who experienced it.

Pure joy

I want to love like them. A love that lasts. A love that endures. A love that never fails, never gives up, and had no bounds.

I love you <3 - Raul

XOXO

Kisses and Collapses

It's no secret that I have a favorite speaker. He also happens to be my favorite author. His name is Josh. . . Josh Riebock. Have you heard of him? Maybe I've told you about his book I read. It's called "Heroes and Monsters" and I believe it's a book we should ALL read at some point.

Well anyways, Josh paid a visit to Grand Canyon not too long ago. I am always so eager to hear him speak and share God's Word with me. You see, Josh is so. . . real. He's real. He's a broken man with real problems and real struggles. He doesn't stand up in front of everyone and act all high and mighty. He's real. He's raw. He's personal. He's relate-able. And I love it.

So he came to speak. I was so excited to hear him and brought Nate along with me. It was a Tuesday night. One I won't soon forget. See, Josh has a way of bringing you to tears. Not just me - everyone. Remember how I mentioned he's relate-able? There's something about being able to relate to a person; to their struggles, their heartbreak, their fear, their dreams, their life. And that's what he did. He read us a narrative he had written. It's now my favorite and I will save it forever.

Kisses and Collapses by Josh James Riebock

Behind the church, I kissed you with my eyes open. It was just so hard to believe that you were real. Were you?

It was night and the air was hot and the moon let us walk beneath her bright skirt, so we did. We walked on and on into forever, two tiny specks mingling with the stars, all of history, even angels. Crossing the street, you took my hand and we stopped. Traffic stopped too, cars honking their horns, the angry shadows of people behind glass cursing and shaking their fists at us, in such a hurry to arrive at places they didn't want to be. We didn't want to be anywhere else. The light turned green and horns kept honking and right there you told me that you loved me and this time I had to close my eyes. For some reason it hurt to hear. No, I wasn't imagining that you were someone else. I was imagining that I was someone else. Someone who deserved you. Someone who could be what you needed.

Time brushed by against our cheek.

We bought a home and soon it collapsed. So we rebuilt it. And it collapsed again. I knelt in the dust and bent nails of our life together and I cried. You bent down next to me and you laughed, and said that we should find a place where homes can't collapse. Where is that? I had to know. You said that place is wherever we are. Then I cried again. In the rubble I saw our collapse, and you saw our foundation. Is there a difference?

Soon our youth ran off.

We became gray. We grew shorter. Life shrank around us. And we didn't know how to stop it. Maybe that's why we fought. I shouted. You held your breath. I folded my arms. You combed your hair. Our faces turned red, but I kept my eyes open. I had to see your expression. Did you look at me the same as you did that night behind the church? After all these years, and all these kisses, and all these collapses, were you still real? And could you make me real too? Did I even want you to?

I needed you to love me. I needed you to let me go. But you never did. Somehow you always smiled through your pain, and wept over mine. And in the silent wake of our wars, you held me close and I felt safe. Safe from myself. I wanted to climb inside your chest, close the doors behind me, and lock myself inside, hidden away within someone who cared for me.

The end came more quickly than we thought it could. No one really believes in the end. But when it arrived for us, I asked it to give me one more minute with you. Just one.

Then I looked for a final time over our worn, sunken shoulder, through every page that we wrote together, through every poem and every bruise, every kiss and every collapse. I inhaled each one. And when I reached the last page of our lives, I tore it out, folded it neatly, and tucked it inside my lips. Then I leaned over and kissed you, whispering, Here is our story...

A thousand times I threw in the towel. A thousand times you picked it up, and used it to wipe the quit from my eyes.

WOW. How beautiful! After reading us this narrative, Josh described that all forms of love are found in it. But most importantly, GOD's love.

"A thousand times I threw in the towel. A thousand times you picked it up, and used it to wipe the quit from my eyes."

XOXO

The Work.

Once again, apologies for the ridiculous chunks of time that pass between my posts.

It's late September and I'm still trying to wrap up some posts on a June mission trip!

But as we all know, life gets crazy sometimes - and NOW is that time for me.

The Work.

The work we did in Guatemala was far greater than any other mission trip I have been a part of. It was also the first trip where I could physically SEE the difference we were making. I could SEE the progress and mark we were leaving on this village. And it never ceases to fill my heart with warmth and love as well as fill my eyes with tears of joy and blessing.

What my team and I did in Guatemala was build a new church for the people of this small (in land) but large (in population and love) village. SO COOL. Being a part of this work was amazing. Never in my life did I expect to be a part of a construction team or project. I mean look at me. Think about it. . . People like myself aren't really cut out for this kind of work. But as one of my favorite quotations states "God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called."

It was so obvious to me that I was being called to be a part of this team, this mission, this work. I heard the Lord loud and clear. I felt Him tugging on my heart strings like never before. I NEEDED to do this. And boy am I glad I listened to His call.

I have never experienced God the way I did on this trip. I was in a tiny village I had never heard of before, being the hands and feet of Jesus to people who loved Him like I had never seen.

Talk about CRAZY LOVE!

It's still amazing to think I was a part of building something that the body of Christ will gather in and praise His name! Day after day. I know it's not about me. But it's such an incredible feeling to know that I am the most unlikely person to do this sort of work, but God qualified me for the job - and I did it! Not in my power, but in His.

And I felt the Lord blessing ME while He was blessing these people through my team and I. My heart is so full from this trip. STILL. It literally changed me. These people made a mark on my life that will never go away. My heart is branded by them forever.

And the Lord threw a little something my way on the trip as well. You see, it's always been a dream of mine to do medical missions. And one day of this trip, I was able to work in the medical clinic. That day is forever ingrained into my memory. I don't speak Spanish. Like at all. But the Lord miraculously gave me the words to speak with the doctor and the patients and understand what was going on. I was able to take their vitals and listen to their symptoms and how the doctor diagnosed them. It was heartbreaking hearing the stories of what happened to these people, and even more heartbreaking to hear how much time had passed since their symptoms began. . .

Months, YEARS even. And they never saw a doctor. They don't have that opportunity. And that is exactly what drives my dream of medical missions. People that NEVER get to see a doctor and live with pain and agony from childhood, well into adulthood and live through the pain.

But it was amazing to be a part of this medical experience for them. AMAZING. A dream come true. And I love that my dream came true through helping others. There's nothing like it.

The work we did there was visible, but also personal. I left feeling so full of love, blessing, and that I truly, truly helped. And these people are the warmest, friendliest, and most loving people I have ever met. I want to be like them.

I love her :)

Pressure's on!

My favorite trainer (Marvin) and Frank!

Love these little faces

Before

Nice work ladies!

Dramatic shot

Best teammate ever

Progress

TROUBLE

Is that a smile?
That means we're doing good, right?

Romelia

Little Samuel. Adorable as ever.

Nick work Frank, Seth and Esteban!

Break-time hike

Seth with our unbelievable trainers!

Team Perfection.
Most beautiful walls award goes to. . .
MORGAN AND CARA

Chop that block Ryan!

My Ruth.

Team Awesome.
Ryan, Me, Marvin (our incredible teacher)

Re-bar (?) haha I think

Medical Clinic!
(This is the dentist at work)